As you might have guessed, my name is not Dietrich and this blog is not usually about my way of doing things.
"Dietrich's Way" is the collective name for my forthcoming Fantasy Series. Part I being "The Broken Lance".
So, without giving too much away, for those who haven't read it as yet (Part I and II are available for kindle download HERE) here is a recap of what the book is about.
The world in which Dietrich (the protagonist) exists is vast and largely unexplored. Civilizations has risen and fallen and no one really knows what is actually lurking over the horizon. There are no maps detailing the many and varied cultures, knowledge of such people and places is spread through rumour.
The land is largely untamed. Villages and townships are carved out of vast, primordial forests. The spaces between the trees are inhabited by hostile creatures which delight in pain and misery.
Dietrich is faced with a set of consequences stemming from his own decisions many years before. As a result he becomes embroiled in a war he didn't know was being waged, a war in which his actions might be more important than he realises.
Monday, 29 September 2014
Monday, 22 September 2014
Deadlines, writing and Part II
So this week I thought I'd just give a mention to that most awkward of things, the Deadline.
The first recorded use of the word Deadline refers to a boundary, shifting and insubstantial around the perimeter of a US Civil War era prison camp. It was so named because any prisoner crossing said line was shot dead.
Deadlines are an important part of being a writer, arguably they the most important thing. The ability to meet a Deadline often trumps actual talent. After all, its no good having the worlds greatest story if you don't get it to the publisher on time.
I struggle with Deadlines for a whole host of reasons. Primarily because I have a number of demands on my time which crowd and shout their way to the front of the line, shoving my poor writing timetable further and further out of phase.
The reason I have mentioned Deadlines is because I recently released the second part of my novel The Broken Lance. Now, although this happy little thing is currently scampering around the fields waiting for a happy reader to nab it (available for download on Kindle and Kindle friendly readers Here) it has been a while in coming.
Around six months in fact.
There are authors in the world today who can write, from scratch, a whole novel in the time it has taken me to get the second part of my serialized novel out. I know this as a fact because I follow/stalk a few of them and watched them progress from the early inception through to the final publishing and releasing of their novels before I'd gotten my Part II out.
Here's the fun bit though. Just because you have passed your original Deadline and it's now receding into the distance is no reason to give up, especially if you are self publishing. Where a lot of prospective writers I have met tend to fall down is the hopeless catch up cycle.
Example:
Writer- Dear fans, I will release my new novel on the 45th of Marvember 986.
Fans- Huzzah!
Wrtier- Dear fans, due to life getting in the way I will now be releasing my new novel on the 33rd of Septober 987.
Fans- Huzzah!
Writer- What the hell am I doing!? I'll never get this done! I'm only half way through and I've moved the deadline twice already! aaaaargh! Screw it! I give up!
Admittedly this is a slightly flippant example but you get the idea.
When setting yourself a Deadline or target of any sort, you need to know you can hit it. There is no point in flogging yourself to death and neglecting your life. You will suffer, your life will suffer and (most applicable to us, your readers) your work will suffer.
Your readers will appreciate a well written novel which is released a little later much more than a hurried rush job which doesn't do your idea justice.
So, be realistic. If you know you can write a thousand good words a day three times a week without fail, great! Work around that. If you can only write two hundred goods words a week, fine! Work around that! Just work to your own pace, and leave plenty of time for editing!
When in doubt, look to the leaders in the fantasy genre, two or three year gaps are not uncommon!
And also, you can get involved with various groups who can help you up your average word count and hit targets. With November rapidly bearing down on us I would suggest looking into Nanowrimo. Or National Writers Month. You get thirty days to churn out as much of your novel as you can as well as the chance to meet other upcoming writers in your area who can give you some tips and help you with any tricky plot points and vice versa.
So, having said all that, what are you waiting for? Get typing people!
The first recorded use of the word Deadline refers to a boundary, shifting and insubstantial around the perimeter of a US Civil War era prison camp. It was so named because any prisoner crossing said line was shot dead.
Deadlines are an important part of being a writer, arguably they the most important thing. The ability to meet a Deadline often trumps actual talent. After all, its no good having the worlds greatest story if you don't get it to the publisher on time.
I struggle with Deadlines for a whole host of reasons. Primarily because I have a number of demands on my time which crowd and shout their way to the front of the line, shoving my poor writing timetable further and further out of phase.
The reason I have mentioned Deadlines is because I recently released the second part of my novel The Broken Lance. Now, although this happy little thing is currently scampering around the fields waiting for a happy reader to nab it (available for download on Kindle and Kindle friendly readers Here) it has been a while in coming.
Around six months in fact.
There are authors in the world today who can write, from scratch, a whole novel in the time it has taken me to get the second part of my serialized novel out. I know this as a fact because I follow/stalk a few of them and watched them progress from the early inception through to the final publishing and releasing of their novels before I'd gotten my Part II out.
Here's the fun bit though. Just because you have passed your original Deadline and it's now receding into the distance is no reason to give up, especially if you are self publishing. Where a lot of prospective writers I have met tend to fall down is the hopeless catch up cycle.
Example:
Writer- Dear fans, I will release my new novel on the 45th of Marvember 986.
Fans- Huzzah!
Wrtier- Dear fans, due to life getting in the way I will now be releasing my new novel on the 33rd of Septober 987.
Fans- Huzzah!
Writer- What the hell am I doing!? I'll never get this done! I'm only half way through and I've moved the deadline twice already! aaaaargh! Screw it! I give up!
Admittedly this is a slightly flippant example but you get the idea.
When setting yourself a Deadline or target of any sort, you need to know you can hit it. There is no point in flogging yourself to death and neglecting your life. You will suffer, your life will suffer and (most applicable to us, your readers) your work will suffer.
Your readers will appreciate a well written novel which is released a little later much more than a hurried rush job which doesn't do your idea justice.
So, be realistic. If you know you can write a thousand good words a day three times a week without fail, great! Work around that. If you can only write two hundred goods words a week, fine! Work around that! Just work to your own pace, and leave plenty of time for editing!
When in doubt, look to the leaders in the fantasy genre, two or three year gaps are not uncommon!
And also, you can get involved with various groups who can help you up your average word count and hit targets. With November rapidly bearing down on us I would suggest looking into Nanowrimo. Or National Writers Month. You get thirty days to churn out as much of your novel as you can as well as the chance to meet other upcoming writers in your area who can give you some tips and help you with any tricky plot points and vice versa.
So, having said all that, what are you waiting for? Get typing people!
Tuesday, 16 September 2014
Monday, 15 September 2014
Part II Imminent
This is your 24 hour notification.
Part II of my novel The Broken Lance is currently pending and will shortly be available for kindle and all kindle friendly browsers.
If you are unfamiliar with The Broken Lance you can download Part I Here.
Enjoy!
Part II of my novel The Broken Lance is currently pending and will shortly be available for kindle and all kindle friendly browsers.
If you are unfamiliar with The Broken Lance you can download Part I Here.
Enjoy!
Sunday, 7 September 2014
Doctors, Boo-boos and Healing. Part 1
Mogmush trembled and sweated, his eyes darted around the small cell as his head jerked from left to right in quick panicked motions. He could feel the fear rising as the smell of the place curled about his nostrils.
The portal opened and a smiling ghoul in red robes stepped into his cell. It made a show of looking around the small place, glazed over eyes skipping over small table and the stack of out of date fashion booklets. Mogmush twisted his head and tried to avoid eye contact. he looked anywhere but at the smiling apparition before him.
"Mr..." It consulted the small wooden board held before it. "Mog...mush?"
Mogmush felt his lungs stop as his name was called out. He felt the adrenaline rising and prepared to leap to his feet to fight his way clear.
He got to an awkward half crouch before the pain in his leg stopped him dead. A strange mewling noise escaped his mouth as the huge man collapsed into a boneless heap on the floor.
Nurse Swab stared at the mostly naked man on the floor. He was rolling around and whimpering whilst clutching at his leg. She felt a stab of pity for the huge thing and waved for some of the male nurses in the next room to help lift him up.
"It'll be alright. The doctor will make it better." She said in her most soothing voice.
"Blaaaaah!" A wall of sound hit her as the Barbarian hit his leg on the small coffee table as he was gently dragged in to the surgery.
The dictionary rather boringly describes a doctor as; "A person qualified to treat others who are ill."
It defines the English version of a Boo-boo as: "Making a minor mistake or error."
And the American version of Booboo as: "A minor injury."
Healing is further described as: "The process of making or becoming sound or healthy again."
These are all rather boring, useful and pedestrian. Which wont do at all.
I would define a Doctor as; "The person that you hope will make It go away and the person who you blame if It doesn't."
Likewise I would say a Booboo is; "A sodding irritation that should not be used by anyone over the age of three on either side of the Atlantic ocean."
Finally, I would describe Healing as; "The long, slow and irritating process of forgetting that you are in pain and returning to what passes for normal assuming you are not on deaths door."
In Fantasonia there is a sickness. A vile and pervasive disease is worming its way through the words of numerous authors and making the worlds of fantasy easy to survive and more or less risk free.
I am of course speaking of Miracle and Magical cures.
Whats wrong with Magic and Miracles curing people?
Theoretically nothing. Actually, in the real world it would be a nice thing to have happen. The problem is that many, many Fantasy worlds aim for a sense of gritty realism and yet they happily cure wounds, from the crippling to the slightly annoying, in an instant.
There is no healing process, there is no learning from mistakes or even any real fear of making them.
Don't be ridiculous! If they had no fear then wouldn't wear armour.
Lies. Dirty lies.
The characters wear armour because it is expected of them. And not all of them do that, some will happily swan around in the melee in a smoking jacket and an air of hope.
It's Fantasy!
Fair point, Typeface. However if it is a novel that is trying to be gritty and (relatively) realistic then it would make more sense for the characters to be worried by pointy/sharpened metal, claws, teeth, fire, splinters, saddle sores, exhaustion, arrows in the knee, dislocations, breaks, sore teeth, bowel disruptions, hangovers, wild animals, tame animals, princesseseses, princes, witches, wizards, teeth, sorcerers, dragons, bad hair days, lightening, thunder, hurricanes, rain, muppets, crabs, rats, wind, damsels in distress, forests, enchantments...
Enchanted forests, warlocks, goblins, trolls, orcs, orks, orques, ships, seas, deserts, forests, chicken bones, pigs, horses, horse shoes, pointy shoes, lovers, flat shoes, heels, robots, steam, punks, pirates, slavers, thieves, princes of thieves, gentlemen, nobles, peasants, slopmongers, kings, queens, emperors...
You probably get the idea by now.
Sorry, what was the original point?
Wounds and hurts are part of life. A nasty, and desperately avoided part but part none the less. A larger part of life is spent recovering from those hurts and wounds, both physical and emotional.
Learning from the mistakes that lead to those hurts, fixing the things that have gone wrong and making to do with the new limitations. Discovering what the limits of your endurance are and how they can change your life.
Well... When you put it like that, waving a magic wand or whatever does limit my character a bit.
Yes, it does. Without that fear there can be no real growth or striving. All the cunning plans to avoid the pain simply don't have the room to happen.
Healing.
It should be noted that you don't just go to the Doctor when a limb is spurting the red stuff. You might also go when you are feeling queasy and nauseous or slightly snotty.
Now, do bear in mind the fact that for a large part of Human history the Scientific Method was non existent and that even when it did put in an appearance it was vilified as both heretical and Necromancy, in the west at least.
That meant that disease and illness, as well as injury, were often treated with a bewildering mix of common sense, folk lore, religion, faith and good old fashioned gibberish.
The following is a list of common (real world) ailments and their symptoms as well as some common cures. I haven't made a single one of these up, they are all real and were at some point or another inflicted on some poor sod.
Problem- Tooth Ache
Symptom- Teeth which ache
Cure- Hold a cup of water in the mouth (?) whilst holding the flame of a lit candle near to the painful tooth.
Sort-of-logical reason for this- It will burn away the worms eating the tooth, making them fall into the water.
Score on the daft idea chart- 3
Problem- Severe Headache/Migraine
Symptoms- Pain in the head, loss of vision, black thoughts, mobile pain in the head and neck.
Cure- Trepanning. AKA drilling a sodding hole in your head.
Almost-logical-if-it-wasn't-bullshit reason for this- Evil spirits caused the problems and needed to be cut out. Possibly along with "infected"/"rotten" brain tissue. Amazingly people have been known to survive this.
Score on the daft idea chart- 3896
Problem- Plague. AKA The Black Death
Symptoms- Depending on the brand of your Plaguey-Waguey expect anything up to and including; Boils, blood boils, vomit, the screaming shits, bloody vomit, bloody shits, puss everywhere, rotting from the inside out, seriously bad smells.
Cure/s-
"Yes, your own of course, you can use the privy over there if you like. One of my orderlies is taking a replica of your leg to the well. He'll throw it in in order to appeal to the goddess of the water to wash away your pain."
"And the fire?" Mogmush's voice trembled a bit.
"Oh, we hold the fire near your leg to help drive the spirits out."
"...Right..."
Mogmush thought about it for a few moment before shrugging and limping over to the privy. After a complicated moment he was arranged. Realising that he absolutely no dignity to lose he went ahead.
After a moment Mogmush noticed something happening. A cloud was forming just to the left of his leg, dozens of little, vicious faces were grinning at him and gnashing their ephemeral teeth at him.
In shock the huge Barbarian stumbled out of the privy, gabbling to the doctor.
"Spirits!"
The doctor looked up from his desk and idly waved a hand to an orderly who stepped forward with a lit torch. Some unpleasant noises came from the privy for a few moments before silence returned.
"There, now isn't that better?" The doctor smiled before holding his hand out. Mogmush simply nodded and handed over a purse before leaving as quickly as he could.
The portal opened and a smiling ghoul in red robes stepped into his cell. It made a show of looking around the small place, glazed over eyes skipping over small table and the stack of out of date fashion booklets. Mogmush twisted his head and tried to avoid eye contact. he looked anywhere but at the smiling apparition before him.
"Mr..." It consulted the small wooden board held before it. "Mog...mush?"
Mogmush felt his lungs stop as his name was called out. He felt the adrenaline rising and prepared to leap to his feet to fight his way clear.
He got to an awkward half crouch before the pain in his leg stopped him dead. A strange mewling noise escaped his mouth as the huge man collapsed into a boneless heap on the floor.
Nurse Swab stared at the mostly naked man on the floor. He was rolling around and whimpering whilst clutching at his leg. She felt a stab of pity for the huge thing and waved for some of the male nurses in the next room to help lift him up.
"It'll be alright. The doctor will make it better." She said in her most soothing voice.
"Blaaaaah!" A wall of sound hit her as the Barbarian hit his leg on the small coffee table as he was gently dragged in to the surgery.
The dictionary rather boringly describes a doctor as; "A person qualified to treat others who are ill."
It defines the English version of a Boo-boo as: "Making a minor mistake or error."
And the American version of Booboo as: "A minor injury."
Healing is further described as: "The process of making or becoming sound or healthy again."
These are all rather boring, useful and pedestrian. Which wont do at all.
I would define a Doctor as; "The person that you hope will make It go away and the person who you blame if It doesn't."
Likewise I would say a Booboo is; "A sodding irritation that should not be used by anyone over the age of three on either side of the Atlantic ocean."
Finally, I would describe Healing as; "The long, slow and irritating process of forgetting that you are in pain and returning to what passes for normal assuming you are not on deaths door."
In Fantasonia there is a sickness. A vile and pervasive disease is worming its way through the words of numerous authors and making the worlds of fantasy easy to survive and more or less risk free.
I am of course speaking of Miracle and Magical cures.
Whats wrong with Magic and Miracles curing people?
Theoretically nothing. Actually, in the real world it would be a nice thing to have happen. The problem is that many, many Fantasy worlds aim for a sense of gritty realism and yet they happily cure wounds, from the crippling to the slightly annoying, in an instant.
There is no healing process, there is no learning from mistakes or even any real fear of making them.
Don't be ridiculous! If they had no fear then wouldn't wear armour.
Lies. Dirty lies.
The characters wear armour because it is expected of them. And not all of them do that, some will happily swan around in the melee in a smoking jacket and an air of hope.
It's Fantasy!
Fair point, Typeface. However if it is a novel that is trying to be gritty and (relatively) realistic then it would make more sense for the characters to be worried by pointy/sharpened metal, claws, teeth, fire, splinters, saddle sores, exhaustion, arrows in the knee, dislocations, breaks, sore teeth, bowel disruptions, hangovers, wild animals, tame animals, princesseseses, princes, witches, wizards, teeth, sorcerers, dragons, bad hair days, lightening, thunder, hurricanes, rain, muppets, crabs, rats, wind, damsels in distress, forests, enchantments...
Enchanted forests, warlocks, goblins, trolls, orcs, orks, orques, ships, seas, deserts, forests, chicken bones, pigs, horses, horse shoes, pointy shoes, lovers, flat shoes, heels, robots, steam, punks, pirates, slavers, thieves, princes of thieves, gentlemen, nobles, peasants, slopmongers, kings, queens, emperors...
You probably get the idea by now.
Sorry, what was the original point?
Wounds and hurts are part of life. A nasty, and desperately avoided part but part none the less. A larger part of life is spent recovering from those hurts and wounds, both physical and emotional.
Learning from the mistakes that lead to those hurts, fixing the things that have gone wrong and making to do with the new limitations. Discovering what the limits of your endurance are and how they can change your life.
Well... When you put it like that, waving a magic wand or whatever does limit my character a bit.
Yes, it does. Without that fear there can be no real growth or striving. All the cunning plans to avoid the pain simply don't have the room to happen.
Healing.
It should be noted that you don't just go to the Doctor when a limb is spurting the red stuff. You might also go when you are feeling queasy and nauseous or slightly snotty.
Now, do bear in mind the fact that for a large part of Human history the Scientific Method was non existent and that even when it did put in an appearance it was vilified as both heretical and Necromancy, in the west at least.
That meant that disease and illness, as well as injury, were often treated with a bewildering mix of common sense, folk lore, religion, faith and good old fashioned gibberish.
The following is a list of common (real world) ailments and their symptoms as well as some common cures. I haven't made a single one of these up, they are all real and were at some point or another inflicted on some poor sod.
Problem- Tooth Ache
Symptom- Teeth which ache
Cure- Hold a cup of water in the mouth (?) whilst holding the flame of a lit candle near to the painful tooth.
Sort-of-logical reason for this- It will burn away the worms eating the tooth, making them fall into the water.
Score on the daft idea chart- 3
Problem- Severe Headache/Migraine
Symptoms- Pain in the head, loss of vision, black thoughts, mobile pain in the head and neck.
Cure- Trepanning. AKA drilling a sodding hole in your head.
Almost-logical-if-it-wasn't-bullshit reason for this- Evil spirits caused the problems and needed to be cut out. Possibly along with "infected"/"rotten" brain tissue. Amazingly people have been known to survive this.
Score on the daft idea chart- 3896
Problem- Plague. AKA The Black Death
Symptoms- Depending on the brand of your Plaguey-Waguey expect anything up to and including; Boils, blood boils, vomit, the screaming shits, bloody vomit, bloody shits, puss everywhere, rotting from the inside out, seriously bad smells.
Cure/s-
- God! Pray/flagellate the bad stuff away. In desperate times people have always/will probably always turn to their deity/s of choice. For a variation on the begging for mercy European zealots would regularly beat (read flagellate) themselves in a strange effort to drive out the sin/illness/please God.
- Kill Jews! For some reason they decided that persecuting an already fairly persecuted people would be a really good way to get rid of their illness. Instead of curing them it just made them murderous, racist, bastards who also had the plague.
- Rub a chicken over the Boo-boo! A live chicken applied to afflicted areas twice a day...yeah, that'll sort it. Pass me the bottle.
- Leaches! Let the little parasites suck all of the bad blood out of you, leaving you cleansed and refreshed! Actually this practice was part of a complex almost science involving the different Humours and achieving a ballance between them. Blood letting carried on well in to the 1800's as a popular method relieving stress and revitalizing the body.
- Smear yourself with shit! Being covered in it, having your open sores stuffed with it and generally wallowing in it. For some reason Doctors thought that everyone's least favorite bodily product was a great cure.
- Bathe in your own piss! Your own by preference but anyone's would do. Again with the strange ideas here.
Score on the "What-Were-You-Thinking-You-Lunatic" scale- TOO GREAT TO RECORD
What on earth? No wonder there was such a high mortality rate!
Yup. Now, I've just presented you with three ailments, of varying popularity and their most notorious cures. Obviously (with the exception of the Black Death cures) most of them weren't used all of the time and were reserved for special cases. However, that they could be considered at all is worrying.
This is effectively the world in which your Heroes and Villains will live. Assuming they make it out of childhood they will be fairly tough individuals, having dealt with at least one mad bastards ideas of what a cure is.
I see...So its entirely reasonable that my Hero would want to avoid Doctors?
Yes! Why on earth would anyone want to go and see these leech peddling quacks? Obviously today's Doctors, with the benefit of the Scientific Method and years of training are safe and highly recommended if you have an issue, but back then? Or in fantasy? You might be better off finding an old woman and asking how she dealt with whatever it is. Mostly because being an old woman she has clearly survived more or less anything you care to name and might be more willing to talk about it than an old man.
"Ah yes, I see what the problem is here." He doctor removed his heavy headgear and sat back with a creak of leather. Mogmush couldn't help but stare at the heavily stained table in the corner of the room. It looked like something that belonged in a torturers cell.
"What has happened is evil spirits have gotten into your leg and are gnawing at the bone. That's what's causing the pain."
Mogmush nodded his head, it sounded reasonable enough unless you knew he had sprained it playing a game of Foot The Ball.
"I'm going to prescribe a full treatment of Appeasment, urine and fire to re balance your body and drive the little swine out. The effect should be more or less instantaneous."
Mogmush stared at the man before him for a long time.
"Urine?"
"Yes, your own of course, you can use the privy over there if you like. One of my orderlies is taking a replica of your leg to the well. He'll throw it in in order to appeal to the goddess of the water to wash away your pain."
"And the fire?" Mogmush's voice trembled a bit.
"Oh, we hold the fire near your leg to help drive the spirits out."
"...Right..."
Mogmush thought about it for a few moment before shrugging and limping over to the privy. After a complicated moment he was arranged. Realising that he absolutely no dignity to lose he went ahead.
After a moment Mogmush noticed something happening. A cloud was forming just to the left of his leg, dozens of little, vicious faces were grinning at him and gnashing their ephemeral teeth at him.
In shock the huge Barbarian stumbled out of the privy, gabbling to the doctor.
"Spirits!"
The doctor looked up from his desk and idly waved a hand to an orderly who stepped forward with a lit torch. Some unpleasant noises came from the privy for a few moments before silence returned.
"There, now isn't that better?" The doctor smiled before holding his hand out. Mogmush simply nodded and handed over a purse before leaving as quickly as he could.
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